I had this overwhelming urge to blog tonight.  I suppose it is because I have a lot on my mind.  Well, three things actually, maybe more.

We’ll start with the easier one.   Goth Girl’s meds are taking a toll on her.  She wakes up super early in the morning, is tired all day and her appetite is down.  The new grading period just started so I’m not sure if it is helping in that department yet and she still rarely has homework.  Or at least she says she doesn’t.  She is up every morning before my alarm even goes off, which is nice because she was always the last one ready in the morning and now she is first.  I’m not sure how she feels during the school day but I know she is tired every evening.  She’s never hungry for dinner and if I make her a plate, half of it gets thrown in the trash.  Her appetite was never big before, though she does need to lose weight, now it is almost nonexistant.  I knew these would be the side effects that presented themselves, I just thought maybe her body would have been adjusted by now.  Hopefully soon because I feel bad for the girl.

Issue number two.  Babies.  God help me.  Our friends are having a ababy on the 18th so there has been alot of baby talk.  And of course, Mr. Incredible wants one.  And I don’t.  Maybe I’m selfish but I figure I have been raising children for 15 years and I’ve got 9 more to go until Sidekick is 18.  I got pregnant way too young and I missed out on life alot.  The past couple years I’ve got to live a little more and I enjoy the hell out of it when I get a chance.  And I don’t want to get fat(ter.) And I don’t want to be all hormonal.  And sick.  I don’t want to have to pee all the time.  I want to be able to tie my own shoes and shave my legs.  I want to get drunk when I feel like it.  I WILL not breastfeed.  And I don’t want to get up every two hours through the night and be sleep deprived.  And as good as being a stay at home mom (he offered that,) I don’t want to, not with an infant/toddler.  Although I’d snatch that shit up straight away right now if it was for my current children who are in school all day!  I don’t want to be 50 and still have a kid at home.  I want to go on vacations.  I want to have money.  I want independence.  I want a LIFE!

Issue Three. The next step.  I think if you’ve been dating someone as long as Mr. Incredible and I have, that the next step should be an engagement.   Then buy a house.  And then get married because we can’t very well get married and live 100 miles away from each other. (Well, I guess we could but then what would the point be.) And the marriage part doesn’t matter so much as the “what the hell would happen if he died and I am not entitled to anything because it is in his name and I’m not his spouse and have no legal right to anything?”  Oh and the “he wants a baby but hasn’t even put a ring on my finger, where the hell does he get off?”  I only bring this up because we saw a house online that we thought we might go look at.  But damn, I’m scared to death!  Goth girl will freak, her grandparents will freak, Sidekick’s dad (DBD) will freak, and me, yeah I’m going to freak.  Switching schools, banks, doctors, dentists, etc., finding a job, no friends or family within an hours drive, so on and so forth.  This won’t be a problem for him, any of it.  Because he will commute to his current job where he lives now because it pays well,  so he will be able to keep everything and still be able to see family if he wants to.  The only thing he will need to change is his address.  It’s not fair to me, I want to live with him and I’m ok with everything except not having family around and having to deal with Goth Girl, her grandparents and DBD.  If it wasn’t for them being jerks about it, I’d jump in with my eyes closed and my fingers crossed.  And then he wants me to have and take care of a baby.  Selfish much?

Please don’t take any of this wrong.  We love each other, we want to be together, we just think differently about how to go about it.  But I still don’t want no damn baby!  I’m not sure how we are going to get around that one.  Unless my uterus starts talking to my brain and telling it horrible things like “the clock is ticking.”

I don’t know what is wrong but it keeps getting worse.  If one works out 4 days a week and does not eat any sugar, bread, pasta, flour, etc.  One would assume that that person would lose weight.  One would be very very wrong.

You can thank Heather for this.  Now I’m all hot n bothered…at work.  *sigh*

Excuse me while I bitch a little bit.

grumble grumble grumble.  expletive MEN expletive.  growl.  grumble grumble.

Some miscommunication this weekend left both Mr. Incredible and I in a grumpy mood this weekend.  He slept alot this weekend and watched a lot of TV and didn’t seem real talkative so I let him be moody/tired and didn’t talk much to him.  So I sat in a chair and read most of the weekend and it turns out that was why he wasn’t talking.  He was mad at me for reading and I was reading because I was annoyed with his napping and stupid TV programs that didn’t interest me. In case you are wondering, we are ok now, and ready to start over next weekend.  But I got lots of reading done!  Finished up book 7 of the Sookie Stackhouse Series, now I have to buy and download the last three.  I also colored my hair, it’s finally all one color!  Medium Reddish Brown.  It looks good.

In other moods news, Goth girl is back on ADD meds and it is yet to be seen if they are going to be effective.  A new grading period just started so I’m hoping she makes an improvement and we can avoid summer school.  At least this time around she was able to be a part of the decision to take the meds and that should help her attitude towards them.  The first time she was on them she would hide them so she didn’t have to take them.  They also helped her lose a lot of weight and I am hoping she will have the same side effect this time.  She is quite chunky (5 foot, 190 lbs, 14 almost 15) and there is no reason for it, she is active and she eats decent and has portion control.  I think it is a medical issue but all the tests from the doctor came back normal.  Of course, I know from experience that even normal test results don’t mean anything and there may still be an underlying problem.

Life’s been pretty boring lately so that’s all I got.

Today’s weigh in has got me down and maybe that is a good thing because I am now more determined than ever!  Go see what the scale says.

You know where to go.

Goth Girl is skating on thin ice.  Really thin.  Paper thin.  No. Tissue paper thin.

In the past two days she has…

• Failed a math test.
• Had to copy a friends entire math notebook because she hasn’t taken notes ALL YEAR.
• Failed to inform me that she had a concert.
• Left her concert robe at the school when she was supposed to bring it home.
• Left her music folder at the house and I had to leave the concert, run all the way home and then bring it back to her.

When I returned to the school with her folder, she had just gotten onto the stage and the music director was still talking so I stood at the edge of the stage and made her get off the risers and come get the folder from me.  She turned beat red and was highly embarrassed.  Good.  Because what I really wanted to do was chuck the binder at her forehead where she stood.  That’ll learn her.

And then…she used the folder once, for one song.  AND both girls on either side of her had their music so she could have just looked off of them.  Grrrowl.

Goth Girl has been sucking it up in the grade department this year.  She may have to attend summer school.  I really hope not but it isn’t looking good.  I think we are going to see about getting her back on ADHD meds.  She was on them before and did so much better.  I told her earlier this year that I felt that she should try them again and she refused.  So yesterday my mom tells her the same thing and now she wants to take them.  Double Grrrowl.  Going to call the doctor soon so see about setting up an appointment.  All I know is those little pills better work or I may have to murder the little shit cry.